Witty Jokes...

An old woman had been going to the same doctor for over
50 years and during that time had made his life a living hell
by constantly complaining about one thing after another.
Eventually, however, she died and was buried in the local
churchyard, but it was less than a month later that the doctor
also died and was buried in the next plot to her. For a few
minutes after the mourners had gone all was quiet and then
the doctor heard tapping on the side of his coffin.
“What is it now, Mrs Mowner?” he signed.
“Can you give me something for worms, doctor?”

*************************************


Flo is devastated when her husband dies so her friends
eventually persuade her to see a spiritualist so that she can
get in touch with him again. All goes according to plan and
her late husband is contacted.
“Are you alright, Martin? What do you get up to all day?”
“Hello, Flo. Yes, I’m okay. Well I wake up in the morning, go
for a swim, have something to eat, make love to some of the
girls, have another swim, eat more food and then have a
snooze.”
“My goodness,” says Flo, “you’ve changed a bit, you never did
those sort of things down here.”
“No, but I wasn’t a duck then.”

**************************************

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are here today to bid farewell to
our departed neighbour, old Bob Flowers. Is there anyone in
the congregation who would like to say a few nice words
about him?” asked the vicar.
But there was silence.
“Come on now, don’t be shy, someone must remember
something good about him.”
Still no response.
“Please, someone say something,” pleaded the harassed
vicar. All of a sudden, a voice was heard at the back of the
church.
“His brother was worse.”